| Inquire here about friendship. |
[04 Apr 2009|01:57am] |
from here on out, friends only.
Selectively Adding, but please introduce yourself if you sense a connection.
pssst...{also, say hello if you're a watcher...}
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| 1. Learning to Write. Again. |
[28 Mar 2009|05:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 rejuvenated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the scientist (acoustic) // coldplay |
] |
Making a Move Back To "One"
embarking on an expository adventure.
I told my bestfriendroommateeverything that I had decided to make my livejournal of six years friendsonly and I was met with a very anti-climatic response. But how was she to know {I assign far too much meaning to such meaningless things} that it was possibly the singularly most freeing and truthful thing I have considered doing in the past three years? How incredibly counter-intuitive it is that locking up my thoughts would be the very key to letting my thoughts freely flow! I'm excited by this newfound freedom within my own preset bounds and am going to try my very damnedest to 'get back to basics' so to say by writing as often {also, if anyone knows if I can use the word 'oft' here, please let me know, as it's far prettier} as possible.
I'm starting to feel burdened by our narcissistic bourgeoisie, particularly within internet social circles. The overwhelming ideal seems to be "look at me," which when coupled with the values of celebrity and reality television leads everyone to believe they're to be revered as famous. It's all starting to seem silly to me. The catch-22 of this burden is that as a photographer, a writer, and a general life philosopher...with no spectators, readers, or ears to bounce my ponderings upon, does my art exist at all? It's a reiteration of that quintessential tree-falling paradox. Even writing this feels pretentious and contrived, despite the valid emotions on which it was built. So again, I'm slave by necessity to these things that I abhor. And I still care if anyone reads this. I will still deny my obsession by actively ignoring the tug to check to see if anyone left comments {now I also feel compelled to mention that this isn't me actively asking for comments, even though part of my heart is yelling, "but please please do!"} but doesn't actively ignoring still feed authentication to the obsession with masturbatory narcissism? and I'm supposed to be the non-neurotic one.
Furthermore, I'm also dealing with a several thousand other troubling new inconveniences ranging from feeling like I've run out of inspiring new music to explore to having hopes of achieving real change squandered by the realities of big business and government crookedness to worrying that I'm losing my vocabulary and wondering if there's any point to be being something other than a survivalist in this cutthroat, tragically beautiful, genius-saved and genius-damned world. As in Lost, it appears there's always more than you can understand and everything you've claimed as real and right just isn't what you thought it was.
I'm learning to reconcile being wrong with being hopeful. It's a dusty road lined with broken branches. I'm writing this for me, but admittedly also so I can reach out and feel a little less alone on this journey. This is me being painfully honest with myself.
I kind of like it.
watch this movie and be moved.
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| Catch up, give up, grow up. |
[04 Mar 2009|03:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 peaceful |
] |
Lolo.
Zaragoza, Spain.
Max.
perhaps Maxine or Maxwell.
Injured dove.
Discovered post-Hawk attack in the park across from my apartment.
I'm sitting up late, watching LOST and keeping an eye on Max as (s)he snuggles up in a wadded up nest of terry cloth. She's taken in a total of 15ml of a sugar/salt/water mixture administered by needleless syringe. The wildlife rescue has noted that a majority of injured birds don't perish from their injuries, but from severe dehydration. The disoriented animals are so much in shock, they can't think to drink. The local wildlife sanctuary opens in four hours.
grow up // We haven't had regular internet access for a few months now and the times when the fix was in, I just haven't had the urge. I guess I'm officially a recovered internet junkie. I've been toying with the idea of deleting my myspace {gasp! without a social network, you don't exist!}, but it's just so convenient when the random character from your past cares to make a cameo. I'll admit, I haven't been reading my friends page, either. If something epic has happened to you and you blogged about it and wonder why I haven't mentioned condolences or congratulations, I apologize.
give up // Life without internet is interesting. More simple. Slower-paced. I've learned to curb my appetite for instant gratification. Between no internet and no cable television, I feel like I've somehow managed to combat our society and media's attempts to intensify our life experience. Not to say I can't keep up, just that I'm filtering through a lot of unnecessary inputs.
catch up // Here's a bit of what I've been up to: planning for Chicago, writing and drawing with actual paper and pen, reading, laundry, being sick, cooking, playing frisbee, designing, getting proper sleep, making hunting knives, seeing old friends, driving to North Carolina, working a banquet, and giving up on job hunting only to surprisingly discover I'm being hunted by several jobs.
Hope all's well with you, internetland.
See you around.
♥
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|
| who are you and where have you been? |
[07 Jan 2009|02:32am] |
i'll be honest. i really miss being niko.
I'm spending a few days in South Florida
with Moriabug and her family and basking
in the gluttonous glory of cable television,
guitar hero, junk food, palm trees, gated
communities, starbucks, and sephora. It's
strange, but somehow comforting in this
parallel-universe, who-you-could've-been
kind of way. I'll be back soon... ♥
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| frenzy. |
[01 Jan 2009|08:58pm] |
I feel like there's a ruckus going on//like inside of me conor oberst and max bemis are singing at the top of their lungs about all the things they're passionate about while authors furiously scribble inspirational prose on bits of handmade paper. the sheets are dancing around as they're flung over shoulders and caught and read aloud by spanish orators, drunk on red wine and empty promises. my skin is tingly all over from winter chill and restlessness and an aching to create and destroy and become and leave and arrive. oh! to arrive!
i am filled with hope.
kinetic energy in the making.
just waiting to thaw.
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| 2009. |
[01 Jan 2009|05:32pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band // the polyphonic spree |
] |
Hello, brave new year.
Are you ready for this?
Everything is changing.
I find it strange that we celebrate new beginnings in the dead of Winter when most things are still in hibernation. The year should change over in the Spring. Or perhaps Spring is when we get a reprieve for all the resolutions we turn into dismal failures. I'd like to hear what everyone is pledging to do differently in two-thousand and nine.
Mister Danger and I have committed to only patronizing locally-owned restaurants and cutting out Wal*Mart altogether. I have other goals in mind for the year {as I always do} but those are our "official" resolutions.
I leave you with one of the most important lessons I've learned in 2008:
Telling the truth won't make people like you, but it will make it mean more when people do.
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| Photo // Heal Us |
[08 Dec 2008|02:43pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the first snowflake // the boy least likely to |
] |
Plea for myself, my friends, my enemies, all humanity.
Self-portrait.
2008.
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| Photo // Crinkle Cut Autumn |
[06 Dec 2008|05:06am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the way i am // ingrid michaelson |
] |
Assorted fallen leaves, folded then arranged.
Photographed.
2008
|
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| Photo // Tiny Dancer |
[02 Dec 2008|04:25pm] |
madrid, spain
...I want to taste the breeze of every great city...
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| Thanksgiving Leftovers Party! |
[25 Nov 2008|05:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tenia tanto que darte // nena daconte |
] |
Since most everyone is going to be celebrating Thanksgiving with their parents/grandparents/cousins this year, we decided against trying to force everyone to gorge themselves multiple times on the same day and we're holding a Thanksgiving Leftovers soiree instead. If you're going to be in the area, please come out! We're crossing our fingers for a fire pit and a keg!
♥♥♥
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| Belated Birthday! |
[22 Nov 2008|01:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 festive |
] |
Since I was out of the country for my birthday {more on that soon},
my lovely flatmates and I celebrated my two-five tonight with
sake, wine, art galleries, trolley rides, and fondue...
( ...more photos... )
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