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Hello From The Future [07 Apr 2015|02:27pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Hello, el-jay.

It's been a minute and a half. I'm sort of an adult now and you're sort of the same, except a lot more buggy and with none of the people I once religiously made daily pilgrimages to, hoping for just a little wider peek into their lives. Which might mean that you're due for a little Renaissance. You're a ghost-town filled with exactly that -- the terrible ghosts of our angsty youth. Curiously enough, though, I'm several articles into the Rookie Yearbooks (www.rookiemag.com), so that might be exactly what I'm in the mood for.

It seems you've launched a campaign to woo back your once-loyal subjects; dangling a not-so-hot commodity of paid account time like a carrot to a bunch of overfed donkeys. I don't know if it'll work; but you got my foot back in the proverbial door, so I suppose that says something. It could just be a matter of nostaligia and timing. Then again, that's what you have going for you.

I do miss the days when my peers would pour out their innermost souls on the electronic page, painting pictures with words instead of Insta filters and reblogged tumbles and curated Pins. It was something special, what we had in the early aughts -- a thing we can't hope to recreate. But I do most sincerely hope that a revival occurs. Something new with new energy and new ideas and its own completely different life.

Because nobody wants a Woodstock '99.

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I miss you, livejournal, circa 2002. [25 Mar 2011|03:00am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Dear Livejournal,

If I had known you were going to peter out the way you did, I would've written far more than I did.
Hindsight and all that.


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new blog. [26 Nov 2010|08:01pm]

Won't be deleting my livejournal, but follow me here!


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Uncertainty. [03 Aug 2010|03:02am]
[ mood | restless ]

everytime i finally find myself, she runs away.

I don't even know where to begin. I just feel like I need to pour myself onto paper. Things are up and down. I'm reunited with my partner in crime, but our renegade bunch is now down a man. The circumstances are poor; this week is littered with debt, unintentional law-breaking, death, heartbreak, birthdays, work, breakdowns, blowouts, meltdowns, and that sick anticipation in the heavy part of your belly that grows while you stand outside the principal's office.

Previously vanquished insecurities are arising inside of me and that old familiar whisper pointing out every shortcoming is making an encore. I suppose it's to be expected, but that doesn't make it any easier, really. We were musing tonight over the fact that it's a somewhat comforting place to be, desolation, as it's familiar territory. Faced with an abundance of yes, we're unsure of which direction to take, whereas obstacles and roadblocks almost lead the way with their puzzling challenges and our makeshift labyrinths over and under and through.

It can't possibly be normal to feel most like myself when I'm in the throes of questioning who I am.
I'm just so tired of feeling like anybody.
It's too much like being nobody at all.

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* [28 May 2010|11:49pm]

someone inspire me to write.

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A vegetarian people at the beginning of time. [25 Mar 2010|02:42pm]
While I know many of you don't subscribe to any religious affiliation (nor do I, however, I do subscribe to certain aspects of faith) and even more of you don't partake in voluntary dietary abstinence, I chanced upon some interesting scripture from the Christian Bible that supports the claim that the Christian God intended a vegetarian, even vegan, people in His garden of Eden.

The first verse, Genesis 1:29-30, speaks of when God created the earth and its inhabitants, and is instructing them on what they should eat.
And God said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
This is followed several verses, a great Fall and Flood, and about 1,550 years later, in Genesis 9:3 where God is making His covenant, post-Flood, with Noah:
Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.
I think this is fairly cut and dry. Also, this is the NIV, feel free to cross-reference the NASB & KJV for scholarly purposes of studying a classic text as well as what's regarded as the most transliteral text.

There were 950 years between the creation of Adam and the birth of Noah. Noah was 600 years old at the time of the Flood. Average lifespan pre-Flood was 912. Some surmise this is due to a climate change since the Flood was caused by a "caving in" of a water mantle surrounding the Earth's atmosphere, thereby protecting humans even more from the harmful effects of the sun. I'd like to throw in that it might also have to do with the addition of meat to the human diet. Think of our longest-living beasts: elephants, giant tortoises, etc. They mainly subsist on a diet of vegetables and certainly not the flesh of other animals.

Finally, why would God give the people meat after so many years? With that water mantle gone, the earth was no longer uniform in climate, so with the newfound extremes of desert, snow, jungle, etc. - certain places were no longer prime for agriculture. Post-Flood, Noah's sons were expected to traverse forth into various lands and repopulate the Earth and in some climates, where they couldn't grow the necessary protein-filled crop, would require animal flesh to survive.

Which brings us to today. In a modern society where trade, variety, and technology is abundant, avid meat-eating seems purely gratuitous, wasteful, and dare I say, ignorant.

Anyway, just a bit of food for thought.
It's interesting, anyhow.
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I'm reading // "The Man Who Went to Chicago" by Richard Wright [23 Mar 2010|01:29pm]

from this collection of Big City Stories unearthed at Myopic Books...

...and I wanted to share a moving passage with any interested parties:

"Our too-young and too-new America, lusty because it is lonely, aggressive because it is afraid, insists upon seeing the world in terms of good and bad, the holy and the evil, the high and the low, the white and the black; our America is frightened by fact, by history, by processes, by necessity. It hugs the easy way of damning those whom it cannot understand, of excluding those who look different; and it salves its conscience with a self-draped cloak of righteousness. Am I damning my native land? No; for I, too, share these faults of character! And I really do not think that America, adolescent and cocksure, a stranger to suffering and travail, an enemy of passion and sacrifice, is ready to probe into its most fundamental beliefs."

Written in 1945.

I gotta ask...how far have we come in sixty-five years?
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You're my living journal [21 Mar 2010|05:05am]
I suppose it's fair to say that as I began whispering my secrets in your earlobes and waking you up in the middle of the night to gift you random thoughts, you became the new storing place of all my brain's overflow. No longer did I nurse bits of folded napkin with scrawled Bic on my nightstand. Sharing my bed, you know my intimacies more deeply than I could ever pen.

Tonight, my insomnia tickles me awake.
Tonight, I let you sleep.
Tonight, I write.

I haven't had much to write about lately and not due to boredom, or every day humdrummery, but perhaps because the weather has caused me to die, some. I have investigated the existence of seasonal blues and while this hasn't been a particularly harsh midwestern Winter, being a Florida girl through-and-through, I think I've got a touch of it. Thankfully, the snow all seems to be melting and I'm sure before I know it, it'll be time for the ice cream vendors to be pushing their coolers down the block.

You know you're unwell when you're starting to daydream about the sun. I have all these cross-processed Kodachrome visions of eating watermelon on my stoop and wind on my legs while riding bicycles and lying in grass and stubborn tan lines.

There's been a lot of randomness abounding in my brain lately and some of it is quite overplayed intermittent annoyances in my life (most regarding rude adjectives and pronouns I hoped to have left in the past) and others are quite overwhelming new circumstances I find myself in every day in my new future. It's not as mysterious and cryptic as that reads.

Ah well, I should crawl back beneath the covers and bury myself for a few hours of hibernation. I anticipate the coming months with bated breath as I crave the glorious sun.

No more photos until I make myself take a camera off the display shelf and create them.
This could be a lengthy spell.
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I like cats and fashion. [16 Mar 2010|06:02pm]

from the United Bamboo Cat Calendar.
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I hate posting writing without photos [22 Feb 2010|01:40am]
But perhaps that's the start to all my troubles. Maybe that's why I fail at writing more blogs in the first place. This *should* be about the writing, first and foremost, shouldn't it? Once upon a time, it used to be. Then the digital camera age began. Here's to eras gone by.

I'm so inspired, I could burst. There are so many things I want to be, do, and see, it's quite overwhelming.

At the moment, please look at this. It best represents how I feel at this very moment:

I will try to put it into writing. I am oftentimes so overcome with emotion regarding new horizons and pending adventures and promises of new prospects that I can't see what surrounds me. I have tunnel vision because I so enjoy reminiscing and I love daydreaming about what's to come. I'm pretty terrible about remaining in the moment - especially when it's not as exciting as the past or future.

Perhaps I will do more posting, less thinking...less worrying if what I'm saying makes sense or is cohesive. Less worrying about a theme and just writing and not editing and just...writing at whim.

If anyone is reading this at all, please tell me the things you'd like to hear me write about...the types of photos you'd like to see...or if you'd just rather me not. If you have any questions, I shall entertain them.

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New glasses. [05 Feb 2010|06:16pm]

if men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses,
these guys must be asses to pass up these lasses ♥

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Discussing topics I don't discuss: VEGETARIANISM [01 Feb 2010|02:55pm]
Recently, my sister and I detailed the several specific topics of conversation that we typically avoid, not as a general peace-keeping tactic, but as a form of self-preservation. The topics are so sensitive that I have a tendency to cry while discussing them…not only out of being offended (and I'm neither easily offended nor severely thin-skinned), but just because they are so close to my heart that discussion feels like pure, honest liquid me pouring out. I've decided to write about them here.

Series 1.
ON GASTRONOMICAL DECISIONS aka Why I Don't Eat MeatCollapse )
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Deeper // poetry [22 Jan 2010|07:08pm]

I wrote this yesterday...just kind of came to me.
The first line was going to be a tweet, in fact, and the rest just spilled out.
If I get some time, I may go into iMovie and add all the words to the video one day, but I got impatient...

Comments and critiques welcomed.

read along with the videoCollapse )
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Do It Now. [18 Jan 2010|03:54pm]

I've been staring at this blank slate of 2010 for eighteen days, fifteen hours, and eighteen minutes wondering when I was going to take off. When this new year full of potential was going to light some kind of fire and make me feel brand new. A new year, a new decade, all here in my new city. But it's gotten to the point where I have so many ideas that it overwhelms me, so much creativity that it stifles me, so many plans that I get buried by all the todo lists and strained by the pull of everyone wanting me to help them, to show up, to be there, to run this, to tell them what to do. And I like being asked of, I just despise disappointing people. Nobody knows how much I beat myself up for failing them...whether it's declining an invitation, missing a phone call, showing up late, or not having the answer.

But more recently, my trouble hasn't been so much in disappointing others, but in disappointing myself. The things that make me satisfied the most are in creating things, making people think, causing a reaction. I make people read aloud what I write because I want to hear their purest reaction, embedded in their voices. Because if what I've created doesn't incite a riot within them, burning to come out, then what am I but pointless static?

I'm forcing myself to write here, write in my other blog (http://www.keepfalling.com), write in my journal, write in my planner, take photos, make phone calls, create, create, create, film, learn, read, practice, stretch, sing, sew, explore, cook, attend, organize, connect. My new year's resolution is "DO IT NOW." I had a slew of the typical self-improvement desires one has at the beginning of any new year: I will work out more often, I will volunteer, I will not skip class, etc. But much like last year's successful resolution ("I will only eat at locally-owned, non-corporate chain restaurants.") a specific one-liner is much easier to follow. So where I might say, "I'll get a nap before taking out the trash," I instead say, "Do it now." It's slowly working, fighting against my inborn ability to find loopholes: "I should totally do a nap now..."

In that spirit, I'm writing here, right now. I don't think it's very good. But it's done.

Hopefully it gets better.
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And so we meet again... [06 Jan 2010|04:38pm]


Hello, 2010.
New paid account [thanks to walkingthewalk] to satisfy one of many resolutions:


p.s. turned off those awful loudtwitter messages.
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Daily Tweets: updates on the go [01 Jan 2010|10:30pm]
  • Happy New Year everyone! (spent the first twenty-one minutes of 2010 dressed as the FUTURE and shooting fireworks)
  • Taco Bell's closed/KFC's open. No potato tacos for us. :( Me:"Can't take a day off killing chickens?" Abbey:"The colonel runs a tight ship."
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Happy New Year, Livejournal! [01 Jan 2010|12:52am]

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Daily Tweets: updates on the go [31 Dec 2009|10:30pm]
  • 2010? Ushering in 1998 here. No signal, so I plugged in my old high school cordless. Logged some hours on it in its day, eh, @imamathguy?
  • Cleaning mom's kitchen to start the year free of expired goods. Unopened box of Kashi granola bars (2006) it hurts to throw away...
  • Oldest item to date: expired 2000, can of garbanzo beans. Is the concept of "No expiration date, still safe to eat" a good rule of thumb?
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Daily Tweets: updates on the go [30 Dec 2009|10:30pm]

  • Loving the fact that at Aaron's grandpa's nursing home, 'Night Owl Bingo' is at 630pm. Lol.

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Daily Tweets: updates on the go [28 Dec 2009|10:30pm]

  • Ozone's pizza and ranch, how I missed you. Oh, Ryan, Steven, Stephen, Jere, Nicole, Rachel, Dan, Billy, Abbey, Xander missed you too.

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